I Love You the Way You Are
by Catherine Daniels
Summary: Bella is tired of not being able to be close to Edward, so she takes matters into her own hands with shocking and confusing results. Set right after Twilight. B/E
1. Chapter 1

**So, this is my first Twilight fanfic and I'm hoping to do at least an okay job. I have been writing for a few years, though, and you'll find plenty of Office fics as well as a few other random fandoms on my profile. **

**This chapter is mainly just an introduction. I think I know where I want this one to go, but it's going to be somewhat of a surprise to me as well as to you as we go along. Some of the characters (mostly Bella) may seem a bit OCC, but I have a reason for it, never fear. Also, this is set after the end of Twilight…New Moon never happened.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight…no matter how much I wish I did.**

"I love you the way you are, Edward, really, but there are times when I really wish we weren't so different," I breathed as he pulled away from me.

"I'm sorry." He lay back against the pillow and ran his hand over his face.

"Don't be; just don't stop the next time."

"Bella," he started, his tone somber, "I don't want to hurt you."

"-don't want to hurt you," I said at the same time. I'd heard it before. Every time we got close to doing anything at all, he pulled away. I understood his strength. I had accepted the fact that he could snap me in half with his bare hands, but that didn't change the fact that him being so gentle and careful with me was beginning to drive me nuts.

"Bella." His tone was warning this time. He sounded like he was scolding a child.

"No, Edward," I put an edge on my voice that I hadn't used with him since before we were dating and he refused to speak to me. I leaned up on my elbow and looked down at him. "I know you're dangerous, you remind me constantly. And it's not like I don't enjoy the innocent kisses and soft touches; but seriously, you won't completely destroy me if you get a little rough." I knew he has a response to that, but I just continued. "Trust me," I took his hand in mine and brought it up to my breast gently, remembering how it had been there that way just a moment before. "This is okay." I noticed a change in his eyes, a cross between worry and lust. "But this is better," I continued, squeezing his hand around me. The worry left his eyes as he looked up at me. Lust was overpowering him. Not that I was complaining. I felt his hand grip on his own as he turned his body slowly to face me. I lay back, forcing him to rise up above me slightly.

"I shouldn't let you talk me into this," he growled, his eyes going dark.

"You'll be so glad that you did," I responded huskily as I pulled his lips down to meet mine. He kissed me gently at first, increasing and decreasing the pressure of his hand and fingers at a similar pace. After what seemed like forever, his tongue begged for entrance to my mouth and I obliged happily. He shifted his weight slightly so he was even farther on top of me, one of his knees pushing mine apart so he could settle between my legs. His hand that wasn't preoccupied with my chest moved down to my thigh and hiked my leg up over his hip.

I quickly realized this wasn't going the way it normally did. Edward was being much more aggressive with his actions. I could feel my lips already swelling as he moved his lips to my cheek, then to my jaw, then up behind my ear. I couldn't help but moan at the feeling of his lips on the soft spot there. I swear I heard him growl deeply at this, but he kept his assault on my neck. His lips descended slowly to the skin in the V of my sweater. I tightened my leg around his thigh as he started kissing his way back up to my lips. When his lips hit mine again, I could feel him start to rock his body slightly. He groaned quietly with each movement. I wasn't sure what he was doing until I felt the pressure against my crotch. I gasped when he pulled his lips away for a second. This was enough to shock him out of his actions.

The next thing I knew, he was across the room, practically cowering in the corner. I could barely see him since he stood just outside the reach of the bedside lamp that was still on. "Edward?"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

I got up from the bed and slowly walked to him as he repeated his apology. He flinched when I reached out and touched his arm gently. "Edward? It's okay. I'm okay."

"No, I – I lost it, Bella."

"You didn't lose it. You just surprised me with, um, well," I stammered as I glanced down to see he was still slightly hard. The bulge in his jeans gave him away easily; he had been enjoying himself. I couldn't help but smirk at the thought that _I_ had done that to him.

He followed my gaze, immediately shying away and trying to cover his arousal. "Fuck." If I hadn't been standing practically on top of him I wouldn't have even heard him curse. "I just-"

"You just had the reaction of any other teenage boy who was making out with his girlfriend." I placed my hands on his upper arms and rubbed slightly. He started to relax and finally met my eyes with his. They were dark. Not black like when he was thirsty, but they were much darker than their normal golden hue. "It's totally normal. Totally _human_."

"So, I didn't hurt you?"

"Not at all. I just wasn't expecting you to, well, you know." It was my turn to be embarrassed. What was I supposed to say? 'Didn't think you'd get hard from me.' 'Didn't think you'd get horny.' 'Didn't think you'd ever feel the want or need to have sex with me.' Yeah, that would definitely be a mood killer.

"Well, like you said, it's totally normal to get turned on while making out with my beautiful girlfriend." His smile had returned and he reached out and placed his hands on my hips.

"I didn't say _that_."

"I paraphrased." He leaned forward and kissed me gently. When he pulled back, he looked into my eyes, "So, you're positive everything is okay?"

"Well, there are a few things that could be better," I said innocently.

He cocked his head at me, curious. If only he could hear my thoughts. He surely wouldn't look at me as innocent. "What?"

"We could still be on my bed making out for one."

He laughed quietly. "That could be arranged. What else?"

"You could stop worrying so much. I'll tell you the second something is going too far. Promise."

He exhaled deeply. "Okay, but you have to swear you'll tell me right away."

I didn't answer immediately. Instead, I leaned forward and kissed him soundly on the lips. "Come on, lover, let's go back to bed." I pulled him back towards the bed with me.

"Who are you and what have you done with Bella Swan?"

I giggled and proceeded to trip, falling back onto the bed, Edward falling lightly next to me. He laughed, "There she is."

"Shut up and kiss me."

"Yes ma'am," he responded as we picked up where we left off.

I awoke the next morning curled into Edward's side. I noticed that his eyes were closed. He must be thinking about something important to close his eyes the way he had. "What you thinking about?"

He opened his eyes and looked down at me, "Morning." He leaned down to kiss my lips gently. "I was just thinking you should skip gong shopping with Alice today."

"How come?" I leaned up on my elbow, allowing my hair to spill down over the pillow next to his face.

"I'd much rather stay right here with you all day, never moving from this bed."

"Wow. I suppose I should be asking you what you've done with Edward Cullen. Not that I'm complaining, but what's with the sudden change?"

He looked up at me and spoke quietly, "Bella," he brushed his hand along my cheek, down my neck, and along my arm until he laced his fingers with mine. "Last night was amazing. I never dreamed that I could kiss you or hold you the way I did without losing myself completely. I have a strange sense of faith in myself now."

"Good. I'm glad. Now that we both have faith in you, perhaps you could –"

His face hardened slightly. "Bella, you know I don't want to change you."

"That's not what I was going to say, you silly vampire." I couldn't help but laugh at his assumption. I know that he wouldn't change me unless he had to, but that wasn't what I was looking for at the moment. His confused look made me want to laugh even harder. I leaned forward and whispered in his ear. He gasped and pulled away from me, looking more like a shocked deer than anything.

"What?"

"I said, 'I want you to make love to me.'"

"Bella, we ca–" He stopped suddenly and glanced towards the window.

"What?" The tone from the night before was back. I couldn't believe he was pulling away again.

"Damn it all to Hell." He pulled away from me, moving to sit on the edge of the bed.

"What now?"

"Alice is here." He turned back to look at me, apology written all over his face, "We'll talk about this later. I promise."

"No, we're going to talk about this now."

"Bella. I promise we'll talk about it this afternoon."

I huffed, but nodded my head gently. I turned to look at him, pulling a sweatshirt over the flimsy tank top I had slept in. He was shaking his head gently, his eyes closed.

"What is it, Edward?"

He didn't answer at first, coming to my side instead, placing an arm around my waist and leading me towards the stairs. He leaned down and whispered huskily in my ear, "Alice had a vision and decided to intervene a little." He read my confusion quickly. "Apparently you are _very _persuasive."

I was so shocked I nearly fell over. Damn Alice.

Alice didn't even stop to say hello when I opened the front door. She grabbed my hand and dragged me into the kitchen, leaving Edward in the living room. "Oh my God, Bella."

"What, Alice?" I didn't mean for my voice to sound quite so venomous, but if she _had_ seen me seduce Edward and still interrupted, well, I was pissed.

"You don't understand, Bella. I had to stop you guys."

"Alice," I said slowly, "All I know is that I would have gotten Edward to do what I wanted him to if you hadn't showed up."

"Bella-"

"No, Alice, this is what I want. I want to be with Edward. I want him to make-"

"He killed you, Bella!"

I stared at her in confusion. She looked away from me and her face fell.

"I didn't let him see that part. I can't bear to have him see that. It's what happened though."

"What?" I couldn't shake the confusion. I leaned against the counter, staring at the floor.

"You succeeded. You and Edward made love. I didn't watch that part, I swear, but after," she trailed off.

"What happened, Alice?"

"There was blood and Edward couldn't handle it for some reason. He tried to kiss you to bade the hunger, but he got too rough and, and," she had turned away from me. "He snapped your neck, Bella. There was nothing he could do after that."

My gasp caused her to turn. My eyes hadn't let the spot on the floor in front of me. Even when I felt her hand on my arm I kept staring. I knew Edward was there. There was no way he missed our conversation. I pulled away from her and ran to my room. I knew if he had wanted to, Edward could have caught me. Instead, he followed far behind at human speed. I was lying on my stomach on my bed when he came back into my room.

"I just wish we didn't have to be so scared that you'll hurt me."

"Me too, love." I felt the bed give as he sat next to me. I turned quickly and was in his arms before either of us could think. I just needed him to hold me. "Don't ever doubt my love for you, Bella. I love you and I want to be with you. Sometimes it's," he paused as if he didn't know the right word, "it's painful how much I want you. I want your love, and your blood, and your body. I want all of you, Bella. I just can't risk losing you. If I hurt or killed you, I don't know what I'd do."

"Promise me someday we'll be together."

He was silent for a moment, "Someday, I promise."

"Thank you." I knew he was only humoring me because I was bawling, but it was a wonderful promise nevertheless.

**Usually I don't beg for reviews, but please please please let me know what you think. I rewrote this chapter twice and I'm still not all that sure of it. Like it? Hate it? Just let me know. *~Dani**


	2. Chapter 2

**I suck at updating, I know, and I'm sorry. I just finished the semester though and I hope that means I can update a little more often while I'm home for break. I'm not totally happy with this chapter, but I wanted to get it out and analyzing it over and over again wouldn't have helped. Hopefully it's not too bad!**

"_Promise me someday we'll be together."_

"_Someday, I promise."_

"_Thank you." I knew he was only humoring me because I was bawling, but it was a wonderful promise nevertheless._

Edward left with Alice a little while later to hunt and I went straight for my computer. There had to be something. I refused to accept the fact that Edward and I had to live this way. When I found what I wanted I grabbed my coat and keys. I had some shopping to do.

It was dark by the time I got home. I unloaded the paper bag of supplies and laid them on the kitchen table in front of me. I knew Charlie was spending the night at the Black's to watch the game and spend some time with Billy so I was safe from that.

I hadn't turned the lights on when I had come in, so I could barely see what I was doing, but the steps were easy enough. I set the red candle in the middle of the table and placed the horseshoe around the base of it. I lit the candle carefully with a match and grabbed a piece of paper and the quill and ink I had bought. I wrote my short wish on the paper whispering, "What I want I write here/Please take my dream and bring it near/What I want is what I should get/Let all my dreams now be met."__I grabbed a pair of tweezers and held the paper above the flame.

When the paper was completely burned, I sat back in the chair and stared at the candle. It may have been a ridiculous idea, but I was running out of options. Besides, if vampires and werewolves were real, why couldn't witchcraft?

"You don't honestly think something like that would work, do you?"

I turned towards his voice so quickly I nearly fell out of my chair. Edward was leaning against the doorway, his arms crossed across his chest. Even though it was dark, I could see a smirk on his lips.

"Worth a shot, isn't it?"

"What did you wish for?"

"How do you know I was wishing for anything?" I got up from my chair and walked towards him slowly. He stood up straight when I approached him, taking me in his arms and holding me close. His kissed the top of my head quickly before responding.

"I've been around for over a hundred years, Bella. I know witchcraft when I see it. Besides, you think after being a vampire for 90 years, I would have tried just about anything to make a few wishes come true."

I was taken aback by his last comment, pulling back slightly and looking up at him. I'm sure my eyes were as big as saucers and he laughed when he looked down at me.

"Come on love, let us get the human to bed. It's supposed to storm tomorrow and Emmett is itching to play ball."

"How do you expect me to go to bed after you tell me you've tried to cast spells to become human again?"

"I never said _what_ I wished for, love. Now, come on, it's getting late and you didn't sleep much last night."

I knew he was right, but I couldn't shake the fact that Edward had tried to do the same thing I had tonight. He had actually tried to become human again. He might not want to admit it, but I knew that was something he wished he could be again. I only hoped that, by some miracle, this time it would work.

I couldn't believe how hot I was when I woke up the next morning. Usually when Edward stayed the night I would be bundled and still cold. I rolled over and opened my eyes slowly to see Edward lying on his side facing me. I had never seen him lying like that. He was always on his back or sitting up watching me sleep. I watched him for a moment before I whispered his name. When there was no response, I whispered his name a little louder.

He let out a sigh before his eyes fluttered open, "Bella?"

"Hey. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, just let me wake up a little," he mumbled, rubbing a hand over his face. He looked up at me, smiling softly, and that's when I saw it.

"Edward!"

"What?" He sat up quickly, turning to me.

"Your eyes, they're green. And wait, 'wake up'?"

Edward's eyes were wide as he tried to process everything. "Is your dad here?"

"I don't know. Um…no, he shouldn't be. He was spending last night on the reservation and said he'd be there most of today, too."

"Good, we need to go see Carlisle." He grabbed my hand and pulled me quickly from the bed. His hand was warm in mine and I gasped. He looked to our entwined hands and back up to my face. "Hopefully he'll know what's going on."

I knew what had happened, but I couldn't shake the fear I'd awake and everything would be back to normal. We rushed to my truck and Edward took the driver's seat, latching his seatbelt almost immediately.

"Looks like I may need this now." I could hear the nervousness in his voice and I did the only thing I could think of to calm him. I gently reached over and ran my fingers through his hair. He leaned into the touch and looked over at me.

"No matter what, remember I love you," I said quietly.

He sighed and nodded before he put the truck into gear and drove out of town towards his house. I had honestly never seen Edward like this. When we walked through the front door of his house he called out in a strangled voice, "Dad! Dad?!"

Carlisle appeared at the top of the stairs, confusion written over his face. "Edward? Bella? What's going on?"

"Dad, there's something wrong." Edward's voice had never sounded so young. He was scared and confused and I had the sudden realization that it was all my fault. I gently pulled my hand out of his as he made his way to the bottom of the stairs to meet his father.

"What happened, Bella?" I turned quickly at Esme's quiet voice.

"Edward's – I – my fault – I just –"

She gathered me into her cold arms and held me close to her, "Shh. Everything will be alright."

"Esme, keep Bella here, I'm going to go run some tests on Edward," I heard Carlisle call.

I felt her lead me towards the kitchen. "Come on, dear, let's get you something to eat while we wait for the boys."

When we entered the kitchen, I looked up to see Rosalie sitting on the counter, Emmett standing between her legs. Their faces were very close to one another and it seemed like they were whispering back and forth. Rosalie looked up when she heard us enter the room, "I thought I smelled a human. Who'd you bring with you, Bella?"

"What do you mean?" I found my voice to be exceptionally small.

"Well, unless you have two hearts, there's another human with you."

"Rose, not now," Esme said pointedly.

"If she's bringing other people into our house, I think I have a right to know. I think we all do."

"Rosalie, stop." It was Jasper this time that spoke. I turned and saw Jasper and Alice at the door.

"Oh, Bella. I wish I had seen it. I'm so sorry." Alice immediately took me in her arms and hugged me tightly. "Everything will be fine in the end. I promise."

I felt a sudden calm come over the room and I looked to Jasper, "Thank you." I noticed that Rosalie had left the room, leaving Emmett to lean against the counter. Esme had moved to the stove and was cooking up some eggs for me. Alice and Jasper led me to the high chairs by the counter. It was a solemn breakfast, waiting for Carlisle and Edward.

When Carlisle called me into his office almost an hour later, I couldn't help but be apprehensive. I bit my lip as I took a seat next to Edward. His face was blank. More blank than I had ever seen it before.

"Well, Edward, I don't know how it happened, but you're human."

**Well, there you go. Seems like Bella got her wish, but as always, nothing is 100% what it seems. **

**I can't guarantee how long it'll be before the next chapter, but I still want to hear what you all think! Just push that little button in the corner and review.**

**Bella's spell: **.

***~*Dani**


	3. Chapter 3

**Soooooo…I suck at updating. My only excuse is that I have none. Here is an update though and I hope to update by the end of the month…I'll try, I promise.**

"Human?"

"Heartbeat, lung function, twenty-three pairs of chromosomes. I don't understand it, but everything points to you being completely human."

I looked between Carlisle's confused face and Edward's scared one. I carefully took his warm hand in mine and stroked the back of it in as comforting of a way as I could. He looked up at me, his green eyes lost.

"Oh, Bella."

And he cried.

Edward Cullen cried.

I instantly pulled him into my arms, running a hand through his hair, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

His head shot up and his eyes met mine. "It worked. I can't believe it worked."

I felt his warm hands encompass my face as his lips descended to mine hungrily. I heard Carlisle clear his throat and Edward pulled away slowly from the kiss. He never broke his gaze at me as his father spoke.

"I'd still like to run some more tests, but I think that we've done enough for today. Would you like me to talk to the rest of the family, or would you like to?"

"Um, you can, dad. I think that we're gonna go up to my room for a little bit."

"Oh, I don't know-"

"Dad, don't you trust us?" Edward turned and looked at Carlisle with the most innocent face I had ever seen out of him.

"Alright, but remember, vampire hearing."

"Of course," he said nodding and smiling. He grabbed my hand and pulled me from my chair, dragging me out of the room and towards the stairs. He pushed me in front of him and then helped me climb the stairs quickly with him behind me.

"What I wouldn't give for super-speed right now," he mumbled. I blushed at the statement.

We reached his room and he closed and locked the door behind us. He turned and looked at me through lust filled eyes. "Come here." He led me to the couch and sat down close to me. "I just want to try one thing."

I blushed and smiled at him, nodding slightly. He brought his right hand up to cup my jaw and he slowly brought his lips down to mine. I felt lightheaded as his now warm lips molded to mine. The kiss became deeper quickly as his hand wrapped around to the back of my head. I felt his lips part and his tongue trace my lips. I parted them slightly and he took that as the sign to continue, slipping his tongue into my mouth. He tasted the same, but it was so different now that he had a heartbeat and was warm.

His left hand made its way around my waist, pulling me slightly closer to him. I pressed my tongue against his, fighting a little for dominance. He allowed it, so I pushed my tongue forward into his mouth for the first time. He moaned and I took that as a good sign to continue. I brought my hands up to either side of his face and turned so that we were facing each other more. Edward pulled on my waist again and I moved so that I could throw a leg over his, straddling his lap. Once situated, I pulled away to breathe quickly.

"God, you taste amazing," I breathed out.

"So do you, love, so do you." He smiled at me before attacking my lips again. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, running one hand up my back, pressing our chests together. I couldn't help but moan into the kiss.

I could feel Edward growing hard underneath me. I knew I might be pushing him too far now, but I had to know what his new boundaries were. I slowly started to grind against him. His fingers gripped my back and hip and he moaned and panted against my lips. When I felt him start to grind back against me, all my resolve went out the window.

Kissing. Biting. Groping. Moaning. Panting. Dry-humping. Falling on the floor as Edward runs out of the room.

What.

The.

Fuck.

I sat on the floor of his room, completely sexually frustrated, fighting to regain my breath, and trying to figure out what the Hell would make him run out of his room like he was on fire.

"Damn it!" I pounded my fist on the soft carpet beneath me before pushing myself off of the floor and towards the door of his room. I started down the hall where a rarely used bathroom was. The door was closed so I knew Edward had to be in there. I knocked lightly, "Edward?"

There was no response at first. I grabbed hold of the handle and prayed that it was unlocked. I turned the handle slightly and pushed the door forward, "Edward, love?"

"I'm so sorry," he said quietly as I entered the dimly lit room. He was sitting on the floor between the toilet and the tub, his bottom half wrapped in a towel.

"Are you okay, baby?" I sat down next to him and placed my hand gently on his knee.

He gave a half-hearted laugh and shook his head. "I was like some kind of teenager that couldn't control himself."

"Edward, you _are_ a teenager. It's okay."

"No, it's not. Jesus, Bella, I came in my fucking pants. I mean, ugh," he dropped his head to his knees.

I gently ran my fingers through his hair, "Hey-"

"No, Bella. I just," he raised his head up to look at me. "I love you so much and I want to give you everything, but it seems like no matter how hard I try, there are just some things I can't do. I mean, before, I couldn't love you the way you wanted because I was too afraid to hurt you. Now, when I could be with you that way, I can't even hold it in long enough to do it. It's ridiculous."

"It takes time, Edward. We'll just have to…practice a lot." The hopeful look in my eyes probably betrayed the serious tone I was trying to have, but I didn't care. I really did hope for lots of practice.

He looked up at me and smiled before taking my hands in his and holding them over his knees. "Practice, huh? I think I might be able to go for that."

He started to pull me to sit in his lap, but as he did, his stomach growled loudly. I laughed and pulled him back towards me so we could both stand up. "I think you could also go for some breakfast. Why don't you go get dressed and I'll see what food is in the kitchen."

"Ok." He leaned down and kissed me chastely before heading towards his room. I took the stairs slowly, wondering what kinds of questions we'd encounter downstairs. When I reached the first floor landing, I noticed how eerily quiet it was. Even in a house full of stealthy vampires, it was rarely this quiet in here. I made my way into the kitchen and noticed a note lying on the island.

_Bella & Edward,_

_We went out to hunt for the afternoon. The addition of another human in the house was quite unexpected and hunting became necessary for some of us. We should be back around nightfall. There should be enough food in the pantry for both of you to have breakfast and lunch. Rose and Emmett will go shopping on our way back tonight for you. _

_We love you both._

_Esme_

_What Esme didn't say was that we didn't want to hear you two going at it for the first time. Leave the _

_house in one piece. –Em_

Leave it to Emmett to make a kind note from Esme dirty. Besides, it's not like Edward hasn't had to listen to all of them having sex for years. Time for a little payback, in my opinion. I shrugged it off and made my way over to the fridge and, pulling the door open, and scrounging for some of the food Esme always kept on hand for me.

I pulled out some eggs, bacon, and a carton of milk before struggling towards the counter with the load. After placing everything next to the stove, I grabbed a pan from the cupboard and placed it on the stovetop. I was halfway through scrambling the eggs when I felt strong arms wrap around my waist. Edward set his chin on my shoulder to watch me cook our breakfast.

I could get used to this.

He hugged me close to his body, bringing his lips down to kiss my neck. I could no longer focus on the task in front of me. I moved the pan from the heat and turned off the burner before turning in Edward's arms to kiss him deeply.

I could get _very_ used to this.

**Sorry for the fake out on the lemon…well…sort of. No worries, it's coming. Review please!**


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